Barbershop Diaries, Volume I, Issue 15: GOP = FEAR

I'm All Out of Fear

Something must have slipped my mind this past week at my barber’s place of business.  I must have forgotten what I went in there for.  It started out innocently enough: a few jokes and humorous asides, a mention about the burned popcorn last visit and the need to open the front door to let out the stifling odor of carbonized corn and let in the Texas heat.  But then the reality –  The Reality – of what we have quietly tolerated for more years than we choose recognize settled in and I could have pulled every last hair out of my head by its root in gigantic handfuls.

Cheney is using the Republicans again, and they are all too willing to be used as can be seen here.  That such a gallery of human waste continues to occupy seats in the United States Senate is insulting enough to the institution and to the country.  But that each of the halfwit signatories on this parchment of idiocy might actually believe the opinions expressed as facts therein speaks finally and convincingly as to their treason against the former United States of America.

Yes, gentle reader, I said, “former” United States of America.  I do not know this country I live in any longer, and I see the distance between the country we live in now and a country poised to relive the horrors of Nazi Germany to be paper thin.  As thin as the parchment on which our Bill of Rights were first handwritten some 221 years ago.

Yes, it is still entirely possible that in order to avoid prosecution at the hands of the United States, or The Hague, that rogue elements of our own intelligence and State Department apparatus will seek to detonate a nuclear device within the continental United States and blame this heinous act on someone, or something, “out there.”  It is indeed possible that the nuclear devices irresponsibly removed from Minot AFB and delivered to Barksdale AFB were intentionally mishandled or miscounted, sending at least one nuclear warhead to parts unknown.  To underscore the horror of such an act, and in an unprecedented move, the entire top level of the United States Air Force was removed in June, 2008, after it was discovered that the clandestine movement of these nuclear warheads was at the “request” of Vice President Richard Bruce Cheney.

Enough.

The fascist automatons burrowed deep within the bowels of our government have frightened every last nerve fiber in my being and set it on edge.  But by now it has gotten to the point where We the People have nothing left to lose by daring these 24-carat-plated northern-end-of-southbound-horses to go head and make our day.  G’head, jackasses.  Do it.  But know whether you do it or not, we’re still coming after you.  You and your families will still be looking over your shoulders 100 years from now because we will not stop until every last scintilla of your DNA has been removed from the gene pool.  The only evidence of your presence on this planet will be a catalog of your crimes against humanity and precisely how such human rubbish could have ever come into being in the first place.

We will kill your cars, your houses, your wealth and everything material that has ever given you reason to go on living.  And then we will chain you inside the coldest, darkest prison we can find, where we will leave you to rot until you beg for your own death to come.  Then we will ensure that you go on living many years beyond what you thought you could withstand.

We do all of this in the memory of the Kennedy Brothers, their children, their grandchildren and every patriot who has ever spilled a drop of blood in defense of what was once these United States of America.  Most certainly, we do this in memory of Marine General Smedley Darlington Butler, the last patriot to ever put a finger into your “all seeing” eye.

Pleasant dreams, jackasses.  Maybe that spot on your shoulder will be dandruff, and maybe it will be the last glimmer of light you catch before your lives as “free” men and women comes to a bitter, painful, screeching halt.