Some Jokes Aren’t That Funny

Knock-knock.
‘Who’s there?”
Jew.
“Jew, who?”
Silly goy, don’t cry because I own all the good knock-knock jokes.

The United States owes a debt to the Jews of Europe that can never be repaid. The United States allowed morons like Henry Ford, Charles Lindberg, Irenee Du Pont, Grayson Murphy, J.P. Morgan, Joseph Kennedy, the Bush Crime Family, Averill Harriman, the Dulles brothers, the Brown Brothers and, of course, Father Coughlin – a Canadian, but close enough – to a) rise to prominence and b) spew vile anti-Semitism on a global basis for multiple decades. Much of what transpired against European Jewry during the Nazi and Stalinist regimes had its roots in the machinations of the financial class in the early 20th century by 19th and 20th century American tycoons. If I were a Jew and names like the aforementioned hated my ethnicity out of some sort of weird bigot-reflex, I believe I would be quite paranoid regarding the negative events transpiring in my personal life and the lives of my family members. Certainly nothing good could come from the economic, political, social and psychological pressure a coordinated attack by America’s kabillionaires against my ethnicity would cause. Contemporary proof of my point can be found in the scattered fellowship of millions of former homeowners robbed absolutely blind by America’s latest crop of avaricious robber barons.

And yet, the United States cannot will itself a better past nor repay an irreconcilable debt.

But we can make some amends.

We can fire Rick Sanchez from CNN.

Anyone who has ever listened to Rick Sanchez confront the porcine purveyors of political poppycock on his former CNN show knew well enough that this day might come. Lead by the journalist Helen Thomas, Rick had had enough tap-dancing around the subject of what is truly wrong with America. Something needed to be said and, by god, Helen Thomas should say it. Even if it killed her, which it most likely did.

Rick Sanchez, like Governor Rick Perry of Texas, has terrific hair. The two Ricks would make a great political team – one, thoroughly compromised by the killing of innocent human beings and in the sleeping with a man not his wife; the other, plaintively looking for a pigeon-free ledge where he can piss and moan about the coming apocalypse from a relatively safe height above the great unwashed masses.

Before I become too deeply ensconced in “Rickishness” and miss what I really want to write about, let me see if I can’t offer a dash of empathy-training-in-a-bottle for the newly unemployed, future traffic-tracker of the morning commute, Rick Sanchez – a Cuban-American by ethnicity and a veritable Horatio Alger by his own humble admission. I need some closure.

“If it wasn’t for Teddy Roosevelt, your family would still be picking bananas, Sanchez.”

How did that one go down, Mr. Ethnic Sensitivity, Mr. Charismatic Clodpate?

Okay, enough about Rick. Mel Gibson he is not.

Sanchez should not have been fired for shedding light on an issue that should have been a major breaking news story thirty years ago. In addition to budget cuts in education, longer working hours for parents and dwindling elementary school test scores, “We the People” have become ethically paralyzed by our own uneducated, paranoid attempts at political correctness.

Our problem is so severe that we cannot recall, or even contemplate, that it was Israelis who were dancing near the van they were using to photograph the smoking Twin Towers on 9/11/2001, and it was the Israelis who murdered an innocent American boy during their raid on a humanitarian flotilla headed for Gaza. In 2010. AD. And, yes, it was the Israelis who murdered 34 American sailors in cold blood when they launched an unprovoked attack on the USS Liberty in 1967.

Should allies intentionally fire on one another during a time of war for either side? Real allies do not. Nor do they run bulldozers over the bodies of nonviolent American protesters like Rachel Corrie. Non-violent protest was specifically designed to irritate the homicidal psychopaths among us and Israel has been irritated a lot in its short history.

I loved the non-violent persona that was John Lennon and I loved that he held out such hope that peace and humor would cure us all from looking and acting like Dick Cheney. I loved Martin Luther King, Jr for similar, if less sardonic, reasons. But non-violent protesters have never stopped a cabal of insane idiots from picking one culture up by its heels and beating another one to death with it; certainly not on a schedule driven by an extinction-level event like global climate change. Lucky for us that the same folks responsible for promoting global warfare are also supremely interested in delaying any significant action to functionally address the remediation of global climate change. The only solution all of these mentally and emotionally ill whack-jobs seem to have for any communal infirmity is, “lower the population, by any and all means necessary.”

What does any of this have to do with the Jews? The Jews of antiquity, the Jews of the Torah, the Jews who have stood up for Civil Rights and democratic principles have had nothing to do with any of this madness. In fact, prior to the Holocaust in World War II, European Jewry wanted nothing to do with a homeland in Palestine. Such a thing, were it to come to pass without a divine messiah, used to be considered sacrilege by the majority of European Jewry. Among truly conservative Jewry the existence of Israel is an apostasy, a mockery of everything traditionally Jewish.

How could the mass murder of six million Jews (not to diminish the import of the four or five million non-Jews who were also exterminated) vastly change the political landscape in favor of the abandonment of a key principle underpinning the rich and beautiful traditions of the Judaism and its tenets?

As rhetorical as this question might sound, the systematic extermination, in December, 2008, of the people of Gaza should give any beating heart outside of the IDF considerable pause and time for reflection. The ferocious assault on an unarmed and segregated people was largely viewed by the world as severely out of proportion with the provocation – a few handmade rockets were supposedly fired from an area in Gaza directly into Israeli territory, killing a few Israeli citizens according to Israeli reports. Given Israel’s historical willingness to sacrifice a few of its own in order to promote the “greater good” it is not out of the question that this “provocation” was entirely the work of the Israelis themselves.

Considerable evidence suggests that the people of Gaza populate an area to be utilized for the transportation of Caspian Sea oil and gas, bypassing the Suez Canal and keeping the Egyptians securely away from the potential windfall to be made transporting these resources to an oil-starved Indian economy. So rather than making a ferocious attack on an unarmed people due to some pretense out of accord with the size of the initiating threat, perhaps this attack on Gaza had more to do with securing the unfettered transportation of a valuable resource through an area potentially under the control of the “terrorist group” Hamas. One does wonder. Silly goy.

Many Jewish comedians and comediennes are hilariously funny. Many of these have traded in their Judaism for an Israeli-flavored form of Zionism that shares many of the fascist tenets of fundamentalist pseudo-religious traditions all over the world. Zionism in all its flavors seems to have swept the globe, polarizing human beings as either sane or insane, crippling some of our greatest talents with alternating bouts of sanity and insanity.

Using the enormous resources available to a post-world war global economy to split Jewish culture into fascist Israeli zealots on the one hand, or extinct Jewish non-Jews on the other, was not funny, is not funny and all the Israeli ire in the world will not wring a punch-line out of any of this: they have become that which they claimed to despise.

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